why i am such a useless pathetic human... 2 years................. one on one with teacher... sacrifice all my fucking time, sleep n entertainment just to do chemistry notes n homeworks... paste fugly mindmaps on my bed.... is just a total waste n a piece of SHIT... WHY I AM SUCH A FAILURE?????????? better no need study AT ALL if i get such grade!! for wat??????????? to get this shit grade??? fucking shame... fucking disgrace of myself...... fucking useless!!! feel like dying....... why i wanna appeal to recheck?? shit me........

dear god... why u no answer my prayers... i dont wish much.. just a D only...why u no help me.... why u leave me with tat bloody low grade tat i have to face? how am i going to tell my dad.... how am i going to break his heart again...

everyone say is ok, i try my best, there is nothing to regret.. yes.. is true but nobody will understand and feel wat i feel... disappointed.... is wat i can say....... after everything i gave...... n i just get this kind of result...before getting my appeal result, dreamt of my result again.. sad n heartache until i wake up.. so hurt...

just finish talk with laogong.. cried so much... thanks for comfort me.. i know result is nt important, only the hardwork u did.. but sometimes, isnt it unfair when u try so much, work so much, but in the end u dint get anything? hopefully my hardwork is useful when it comes to working life.. =( 

then i inform my teachers.. she called n comfort me.. n i cry again ~.~ n she also cried with me.LOL feel super guilty sia. but women is tat weak i think =P really thanks alot for my teachers console.. telling me is ok n have faith on me.. telling me God just delay my hardwork.. i hope He do... just let me enter uni is more than everything for me. 

among all exam.. only stpm is the most suckish result i ever get =.= first, upsr, pmr, spm only consists of A & B... even though spm i also quite disappointed but at least my sejarah from D become A+. at least my hardwork pay off.. but stpm?? only get B.. somemore failed chemistry.. wat the? haih... watever it is, jus have to shut up n move on... 

laogong, tomorrow u better hug me tightly or i kick ur butt fly sky =P thank u =)