Hope.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

i enter hospital today... how pain... gt disease n admitted to a hospital this morning... haih...

APRIL FOOL XD hehe. ok, back to serious mood~

ahem ahem...

life is unpredictable... the moment that i suffer the most finally i go through it.. last friday went for badminton n saturday went to shopping.. keep think bout him.. bout us.. sorrow as usual.. why i cant be so cruel, just erase him from my mind n hav fun.. mind just cant control heart isnt it..?

then suddenly he called n texted me. ya, i forgive n hope tomorrow will be better. he jealous i chat with other guys so purposely make me jealous.. how stupid both of us. i also gt abit sensitive n easy say break up without compromise more.. deep down, we both cry silently at night reminisce each other.. hope u will take care my feeling n care me more. tat is all i ever want n what every girl want the most i guess =) just simply love him.

thanks for my beloved friends for support!

n will update yesterday times square trip next time, my laptop no bluetooth to send pictures currently T.T ok la, byes ^^

writtern @11:22 PM

fool again..

Thursday, March 28, 2013

JOYCE LIM YI XING...why are u so stupid........ why u find back him.... why at outside act so happy, laugh so bad n act nothing but back home cry like a idiot... nightmares.. should have forget bout u... shouldnt put hope on u anymore.. but y when i see ur post, i feel like i have to defend our relationship... y i tell n show my weak side to u... why must i tell u EVERYTHING?? how stupid am i... since last year been hurting myself... since last year u hurt me with ur hurtful words... want to break, but think about ur stpm exam, my love to u, ur feeling, i cling on... i endure all...

all these while i thought u would change.. u will change.. but im totally wrong.. i should have seen tat earlier.. then i wouldnt be suffer like now... where are u when i needed u most... why when i show to u my weakest side, u still hurt me so bad... why u make me so pain... why u never care bout my feeling when u do something like i did............... why u post ur status like so hard to let me go, but u sms me vice versa... hurt me all over again... why u can have fun with other girl... when i still feel guilty to u... how fooled u have make me feel...

why i have so many tears for u.... why... deleted all our pictures.. how funny...

my birthday wish... is just u to be by myside... but now, my birthday wish is just to forget u...

writtern @11:40 PM

Sorry..

Monday, March 25, 2013

Sorry to be sensitive.. sorry to be demanding.. what I want you can't give me.. and what you want I can't give you.. arguments can stop.. differences can solve.. but when it's too much of contrast, just creates heartache and fights..

I know you care.. you always fill my plate with foods without I take any... always force me to eat vege and drink herbs..

but I want is the other care.. care when I'm sad.. when I need you... care bout my feeling before you speak out... words is sharp like knife too..

I hope you will find someone who really suites you.. lastly.. I love you laogong.. but just let me go..

writtern @8:49 AM

unfair?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

this world is forever unfair.. the society.. how weird i heard ppl who didnt get any fail also will get reward from parents.. but me? what i get, is jus nothing if score well, but get nag when get bad result... i jus need some comfort instead of saying me.. is it too much? haih.. whatever happen, this is one of the challenge from God... why give me such awful challenge =( i already get through form 6 alone.. put down hope to become a veterinarian.. but why now have such result.. even become a teacher is full of doubts now =(

anyway, just shut up n move on.. and pray hard.. its all i can do.

writtern @4:22 AM

Sad..

Monday, March 18, 2013

How sad... today stpm result finally out... passed, but not good.. will recheck my chemistry as what teachers ask me to.. because it's like no answering at all.. hope after check will get better..

Hug my teachers and cried.. haha.. make them also wanna cry.. so bad.. really disappointing.. most of all, my dad follow me take result.. so sad and hurt I can't make him proud... he so hard raise me but I can't repay him... how useless I am... some more he try hard to cheer me up.. really love him..

And Luckily... Teacher comfort me say proud of me no matter what. Proud of my attitude and hard work alone at class.. give me many encouragement... feel so blessed.. Gave my teachers flowers as below picture..

Then go sunway with bf... cried again... he get 3pointer above also complain.. how I wish to get that result :-( how I wish for that... still feel so down even though bf, friends, teachers, family comfort.... thx anyway..

Got back home, just feel like runaway from all these... plus mum some more argue with me.. fml... why I so down, you still ask me why get this kind of result, not feel ashamed? Seriously f... no mood at all.. how can other people comfort me but you instead make me more sad? Sorry I disappoint you, but must you say all these at this time? Sucks!

Today is just a shitty day.. please god, give me the courage... and most of all, enter uni.. that's all I hope for..

writtern @7:18 AM

Diet day 3

Monday, March 11, 2013

Yesterday went to hiking at boyboy house nearby de hill. Never thought that puchong also got a forest to hike. Super tiring. And slippery and steep. Whole muscle also pain><

Went together with my sister and her friends. Took about 2hour to end. Not bad, got river and fresh air. Too bad can't see any monkey. Still sleeping. Tsk.

Then after that went to swimming at his apartment. I grab his hand and ask him once count till 3, together jump in the pool. But he go and push me inside. So stupid >< but so happy I finally know how to float XD but with help of a board ~.~ haha.. what a success to me also..T.T

Then went to padini sales ioi, the formal attire rm13 only. Super cheap. And watch OZ movie! Awesome! Love the graphic and storyline. Must watch

Go back home straight sleep. No sit up d.

Today went to jog 30min. Will do sit up later before sleep. Gambateh!

writtern @8:46 AM

Diet day 1

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Last monday went to my working boss house to celebrate Jasmin birthday. So nice we went to play GYM and swimming at his apartment. Too bad I still don't know how to swim :'( Have a really good time spent time together. Boss wife cook cook so many for us <3 how lovely. Jasmin so lucky girl ^^ some more cut cake then. By that time suddenly last minute decide to over night there.. Then we gamble and drink.. I get bit drunk. My whole face and body was red.. chris say I like 'guan yi gong' >< lol. Then suddenly I get dizzy.. almost fainted. From red turns to pale white. Chris went to kitchen help to take plastic bag, but by that time I already run to toilet and vomit. Last time watch TV see people drunk like very nice. But hell suffer. Very shitty awful feeling lo >< first and last experience XP boss some more secretly add to my glass when I go toilet>< After almost 5days my skin still itchy due to the alcohol. Huhu. Even sleep that day my friend also can't tahan and ask me can stop garu or not xp Insaf d ~.~ haha.. But my main point is, now I going to post my diet update on my blog. Will be quite irritating for those who have to suffer listen my diet story XD why I wanna post out because I want humiliate myself if I get slack. Today watch favourite TV show. And same time I want go jog :'( ended up I just jog 15min only. Huhu. Later before sleep going to sit up 100times only sleep. Hope I can get used to it. Actually before exam already plan to diet with exercise but quite busy. Now after exam pulak become lazy. Haih.. Joyce why you so lazy bum.. hopefully I can loss till 45kg the most.. hopefully ><

writtern @5:09 AM